I meditate, I sit here, think about my day, my life, the day's happenings, the problems, the questions, the doubts, the fears, my wife, my kuttyson, all of this.....and wondering ...changing my perspective and thinking about my past.....it's happenings.......and about everybody's life.......the larger world....the mess, the maze, ......and then turn my mind upward......the skies....the cosmos....the whole universe.......space, light, fire, stars, galaxies, light years, and all that is happening in this enormous, unfathomable space.....all that has happened......all the change, all the movement.....all the stuff, ....and then try to connect myself with these cosmic happenings......am I supposed to be connected to all of that? .....the same stuff....somehow ! .? The same stuff is in me? Runs in me? Moves in me? Made of and from the same stuff ???!!! Mind blowing to imagine ...trying to connect my mind with all that space stuff....so far...so huge.....somehow so so alien !!! ....that my mind finds it unable to accept that there is even a vague link......when a part of my mind ..of me...feels that there has got to be more than just some vague distant link......surely some definite thread of cause and effect...of some cosmic reasoning.....some link between me and all the primal stuff !!!

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